(1) You Get What You Give
The first stepping-stone in the paradigm shift is the concept of, "You get what you give." Life is like a mirror and what you put into it you will get out of it. Since reality is completely dependent on what is given, or expected of it every living being is in control of what happens to them. Mirrors reflect back what they see, and so does life. A reflection from the mirror may not happen right away, but eventually the reflection will appear. If negativity, pessimism and anger are shown to the mirror then that is what is given back. No one enjoys having negativity and anger centred on them and no one should expect to have such things singling them out. People that have anger, or negativity directed towards them must look at their own selves to see truthfully what they are showing, or have shown to the mirror. If a person is angry at the World, pessimistic, negative and downright mean then that is exactly what will be shown to them by their mirror in reality. It is also true that a mirror in reality will show hostility if a person expects hostility, etc. from reality. To better a personal reality people must shift away from creating, and expecting negative aspects, so they are not reflected back into their lives. An outlook and demeanour that is positive, optimistic and healthy cannot reflect back negativity, but instead will reflect back the same positive, healthy environment. Take for example a retail outlet where you are a sales associate in a complaints department and a customer comes to you obviously negative regarding some product. The conversation starts with you saying, "Hello, how may I help you?"
The customer responds with, "This product you sold me is defective and I can't believe you sell such defective, and cheap products at a company I thought I could trust." Now right away human nature will put you on the defensive, but that is the first thing that should be avoided. While it is true the customer did not return your greeting, and they did blame you for their defective product you must fight the urge to turn into their mirror. In order to "get what you give" you must remain in a positive, optimistic and healthy state. Your next response is, "What seems to be the problem with your product?" This let's the person know that you are concerned about their problem, but also shows that you do not take fault for what has happened, since it is not you that is at fault (this is key to your own healthy outlook). "I had this product for three days, and then the cheap plastic front broke when I pulled it open," responds the complaints customer. In this situation you realize the customer is in error since the front plastic piece should never be pulled open instead it should be opened using the provided open button, but with this truth does not come the right to belittle the customer, or you will find yourself belittled as well.
Alright, let's take a look. Yes, you are correct this plastic has broken. It seems it might have been forced instead of using the open button that is provided to ensure breakage doesn't occur. I can either replace your item with the same item and you can ensure that whomever uses the product uses the open button to make sure breakage doesn't occur again, or you could change to the steel model that is not as prone to breaking." In this exchange you have agreed with the customer's complaint, identified the fault and how to fix it, and you have provided two very acceptable solutions. The exchange also does not point blame at who might have committed the offending break, but does show the cause and the solution. At this point the customer will realize you are not at fault, you are not to blame, and that indeed you are being helpful to them. When this happens you have created the mirror in reality that will reflect back your own positive outlook and the customer will walk away happy, most likely thank you for your help and be positively thinking which will erase the negative aspects their first exchanges caused to you. In this simple example not only have you been able to keep your visage healthy and positive, but also have been able to interact with another person and create the same positive changes for them.
By shifting the paradigm of simple interactions you are able to ensure that "you get what you give."
It should be noted that in the given example it is assumed the negative aspects given to you by the customer are mirrors of a past negative impulse of your own. The customer will also find negative repercussions in their own life, because of the negativity sent towards you. The difference is that because you did not send negative aspects out when dealing with the customer you will not receive any future negativity from this incident. In essence you've ensured a positive paradigm shift into your life in the future.